the second draft of Elysium is complete and has been posted to my mother as a belated Mother's Day present. now it sits staring at me, wanting more but just not not knowing what exactly. you know that feeling you get, when you're bored and peckish? you want something to eat but you just don't know what? that's where Elysium is at. it needs something but I just can't work out what. so instead of wasting hours staring at the thousands of words that need tweaking on my computer screen I decided to do some much needed study. if I'm ever going to get my masters I really need to finish my bachelor first!
this semester it is Culture and Society. sounds thrilling doesn't it? actually I love studying, especially creative writing as I get to read twisted old versions of fairy tales. such as Little Red Riding Hood, who it seems in the original version ate her grandmothers flesh, drank a goblet of her grandmothers blood, did a strip tease for Wolf and then climbed into bed naked with said Wolf and was instantly devoured. hmm, not in the version I tell my children.
after consuming a family sized packet of Malteser's and working my way through mind numbing text whilst trying not to think about Elysium, I finally hit gold. why didn't I see it before? I have spent exhaustive hours talking to the ever patient and fellow writer, Meg, about what Elysium needs and had pointed out several times that the text is lacking something and here it is, in two simple sentences.
Direct Description vs Indirect Presentation.
that's the key. what I have done thus far with Elysium is Directly Describe the characters, what is happening and the detail. Eg: Chelsea had long blond hair.
what I need to do is Indirectly Present the detail Eg: Chelsea chewed a stray strand of hair, as it dropped from her mouth the texture resembled wet hay.
this should help with the visual imagery and, if I can manage it, may also help with cutting back on the word count!!! wish me luck.
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