The love affair we call writing...

Over the weekend I was fortunate to spend time away with the girls. Amongst the clouds in a mountain chalet we talked, laughed, cried, drank and ate. My cheeks hurt from smiling and my heart is warm with the kind of love only girlfriend's can supply (my liver is a tad sore too but don't worry mum, it's water all the way from here).

A wonderfully nurturing child/husband free weekend was had by all and amongst the tears and laughter a few insights and epiphanies were revealed...

On Sunday morning one of my favourite girl's, MermaidMeg, sat us down and gave us all a tarot card reading: some were funny; others spot on and mine - well take a look for yourself.

Tarot Reading - 10 card spread.

1. The Signifier - Ten of Swords - The darkness before the dawn.

2. Crossing Card - Three of Swords - A painful state that does not allow for blindness to continue.

3. On The Surface - Three of Cups - Seeking emotional connections / new beginnings.

4. Crux of Issue - Four of Pentacles - Let fears of self go to unblock creativity and allow confidence to flow.

5. Past - Queen of Wands - The superwoman - Let go of the ideal.

6. Future - Ace of Pentacles - The release of past energies will make way for success and prosperity.

 image sourced tarotoftrees.com

 7. Development - Death - Something must come to an end, new life by letting go of old.

8. Response from others - Ace of Cups - Outpouring of feeling, upsurge of raw emotion.

9. Hopes and Fears - Ten of Cups - On going contentment and permanence in the realm of the heart.

10. Outcome - Two of Cups - The beginning of a new relationship or project, renewal of one that has undergone difficulty.

What this means to me...

At first glance this reading appeared to be about my personal relationships with actual real humans. I contemplated for a moment running off to have a wild, passionate affair with an incredibly handsome man that would cook, massage and serenade me (all in that order) but then I remembered I loved my husband, our children and our life together - and considering my question was directed at my writing career - I was forced to look deeper.

Now I think many a writer would agree with me when I say writing a novel is like embarking on a love affair. It is euphoric one moment and the next you are swept into the depths of despair only to be lifted up again by a chance encounter with a new character or a stunning moment of clarity. My journey as a novice novelist would slip into this descriptive concept without missing a beat.

As you may be aware, I have struggled recently to attempt the fifth edit of my MS. The reason I have struggled is because I have decided after 3 years work that I do not like the final product. This is a somewhat crushing revelation and  I have even contemplated (deep breath) giving up!

And I am loath to say I have also flirted with new characters in entirely new worlds. These flirtations have given me the rush I was missing, the glow of first love, but alas I found myself staring out over the mist covered mountains and yearning for my first love.

With that in mind
I took a second look at the Tarot reading. I think it is clear that I am indeed wallowing in the depth of darkness and it has come as a great sigh of relief to know the dawn is coming (insert here a song and dance routine from a really bad but nostalgic 90's music video).

I was already beginning to toy with a new concept for the old manuscript and I have even spent the last month breaking the story down scene by scene and re-plotting several characters journeys.

My MysticTarot has given me faith in pursuing this course of action and I would like to say, as a writer, to all other writers, you have to take inspiration where you can get it - oh and having a little faith in yourself helps too.